Am I What I Think I am or Am I what You say I am???

A very good friend of mine recently reminded me of the old and very (believable) adage “there is a fine line between genius and insanity”. Now I know I’m about round trip to the sun and back from brilliance, and most people conveniently cross over to insanity after they very rationally conclude the life of their spouse and other love ones in a harrowing yet calculated manner, there is a strong element of truth contained within that maxim. I utilize such a preface to assure you when I say… “excuse my schizophrenic display of thoughts ” that I’m safely residing comfortably in saneville, even though some try to take me go to the hood of insanity and while Ill never be “good enough” to be allowed through genius community gates, although I like marvel at its buildings from afar . Then again, most sane people state there crazy, and most crazy people fervently; state their sane. Oh the subjective crux. Alight let me stop messing with yea head lol There is a point to all this tho…………..

Beginning

During a previous blog I comprised in August (“Race based education”) I briefly mentioned the latent but internally strong jealousy I hold via inhabitants of the Caribbean who are able to bask in there nationality and heritage due to it’s unambiguous nature. A few of reality’s truths where mentioned, then I went on to speak about something exceedingly important: Baseball?

Change of scenery

Last week when on a out of town trip in a popular metropolis my cohorts and I happened to encounter a store forthrightly named “Boricua Emporium”. Being that one within our party of four was/is proudly a progeny of Puerto Rican heritage, who sadly, rarely ever encounters persons of his ethnic background, nor the extended, almost necessary benefits those encounters create, where we reside. So we all traveled the up the hallway which should have had “stairway to heaven” emanating thru the walls. When we entered the diminutive but welcoming confines, Puerto Rican articles of clothing and trinkets where pervasive everywhere. After feeling good for our friend and trying to point out stuff we thought was “hot” (fuck you Paris for fucking up our word!!!) my friend and I started to look around for something that we could purchase. Ironically we where spurred on by the Dominican shirt we witnessed, and then become aware of all other nationality based clothing in the store. Friend: “Damn they even got a Trinidadian shirt up in here” Me: Shit I can front like a Jamaican…I could get dreads quick then a motherfucker” Friend: “Man it’s fucked up that we aint got no flag, aint no shit we can even buy in here..” The happiness once held for our friend was let go as we embraced harsh reality and sadness.

The Trip Home

Since I was the lazy bastard who did not put one second in on the driving while reaching our destination, I rightfully began the first leg home. Losing the battle against the sweet whims of sleep, I decided to exit of the turnpike and purchase a much needed Mountain Dew, before I drove all of the cars inhabitants to a peaceful death. Little did I know that the gas station was inconveniently placed 3 miles away from the exit, which inevitably led to my friends to wake up and question where we where. Me being tired, on edge, in a Donald Rumsfield/ Drew Rosenhaus mood to answer questions, my responses where short and terse to what I felt where sarcastic questions of “where are we at?” and silence that spoke with its presence alone. After the thickness in the air subdued slightly people in the car started going through the gear they had purchased and reminisced about the trip. While recollecting, the trip to the Puerto Rican store came back up. Friend: “Man we where happy for you, but it was fucked up we couldn’t buy any thing. To which someone replied “Why didn’t you buy something with a African Flag?” which garnered the strong response “Nigga I aint African, they don’t even like us anyway!!!!” Now personally I hate when black people make blanket statement about how Africans don’t like there American brethren, but I have to admit no matter how small, there is some validity to that sentiment. Taking a less harsh stance I chose to point out the Africa was way to large for us to claim the whole continent, so I felt it fruitless and foolish to do so. So another asked “Your American you can’t you just rock a American flag??” Which prompted me to state “We American on paper in reality we all know where not American” followed by the ignorant “they view them “foreigners” more American than us” which I would direct anybody to tell a Arab person that but I digress.

“Quotes” of the Conversation

“You know we need our own flag”…….”We don’t even have our own country, how can we have our own flag” “Every body else has they own flag, we should make one up” “I dunno…what the black people flag?” “Hell yea!!!” “Hmm Yo they would fight that shit real hard” “Who why?” “White people, conservatives, black people who think they American……they would look at it as divisive” “Mannnnnn Fuck them!!!” “Hmmmm I think the only people who don’t have any land but have there own flag are the Palestinians, so maybe it has been done before” “Think about the pride it would give us, think about what it would do for the kids” Man black people would fight it” “Huhh?” “Yo hold up, since we talking about flags, what do yall think about Young Jeezy with that Snow Man shit?” “Man he embarrassing us in front of the world, I respect him getting paid off of it, his grind or what ever, but he should be embarrassed and ashamed for himself” “Yea but we all still listen to his music, and White people looking at us like “The Snowman” is our flag” “Yeahh” “But yo we could do studies, no our history when we got on tv and in the media about the flag so we knew what we were talking about “ We can’t do it alone” “Why?” “ Cuz we would be speaking for a whole people” “hmm” “Plus Black people would fight it cuz we wouldn’t be able to agree on how it should be constructed” Why would they do that?” “Cuz there are 3 black people in this car and we cant agree, now just imagine 33 million of us” “They would think about the movement” “Dog…White people have a better conception or at least more definitive one of what black people are then we do.” “How so?” “To them if you got a lil black in you your black, no matter what u mixed with, us, some of us won’t even claim Alicia Keys and Hallie Berry, cuz they look at them as mixed”. “True…” So who what, who are we then?” “I guess we just niggaz”……….. Dame Dame Dame !!!!!!!! The fucken deer!!!!!!............. End of conversation……..

This Week

The near death experience I incurred did not jar the contents of the flag conversation from my mental. The debate had branched off and spawned many various levels of thought. Who am I, Am I What I Think I am or What others say I am? During the week I had some conversations with some very good friends of Spanish decent who I am lucky to have in my life. Somehow the conversation turned to how I didn’t view them as Spanish, but rather by there nationality (Cuban, Rican) .The conversations we held brought out various known ideas labeled as beliefs, such as theoretically I’m just as English as they are Spanish, various political, social and economic rationale lead to the dissemination of and slight acceptance of them in to Spanish culture, while American Blacks never look at them selves as English ,and really with the exception of white people, the vast majority of people who inhabit the Western hemisphere, are relatively new persons, in the sense that they have only been in existence for 400 yrs (give or take) at maximum.

Just as Columbians, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans and many others are the wonderful human results of a amalgamation of various racial backgrounds, so are American Blacks. Go head and see if the average black person ever acknowledges his European Blood line, and if you’re a white person and true to point out that fact…..look intently at the glare you receive.

I love Africa, I love my African roots, but I am not African. I’m not speaking in a geographic origin sense, but a genetic and mental one. Even if I and innumerable persons could piece together the millions of broken branches to our family tree, it would be for not help, cause the countries that layer lands previous have no real relevance to our history.

So what am I left with? I’m not American, because I’m not accepted nor do I choose to accept that title. I’m Not African, because the connection I feel to it often less than the one disconnect I have with it. What do I call myself? What do others call me? A Nigga.

My cousin is presently comprising a paper for class about the history and impact of the word Nigga.. We had various consultations about the meanings and effects of the term throughout heated and enjoyable conversations. Combined with previous thoughts, I came to the conclusion that we are the only group of people who always state who/ what we are before any statement or sentiment is conveyed ..That nigga did this. That nigga was. That nigga etc etc…. It’s almost like before we are even persons, individuals, human beings…we are niggas. And for those who think I’m just trying to put the word nigga in a negative light, as if I’m expecting Asians to say “That Chink” or Spanish people to say “That Spic”, think about this, those same Spanish and Asian people, don’t utter, “That Asian did this” or That Spanish guy/girl was”. The reality of us being niggaz is omnipresent and supersedes even being human, at least in hidden practice. When coupled with the fact that when most non black people speak the word nigga, its spawned within from distain and hate, and most of the world views us like so, our accepted definition of ourselves becomes more depressing. Am I what I Think I Am….or Am I what others Say I am………..If I say I am Something…..and others View me as I view my Myself…..can or should I even be disturbed?

A lot of personal questions, to a problem shared by millions. What am I? Up until last week I felt I was a Black person….and a Nigga.. Now I feel that I much more than that definition. No matter the positive or negative connotation. But What?

That Flag sure would help now………………….

AIM- ILLAIM365

Yahoo- illiaimofdaconection

Msn- daconection@hotmail.com

Am I What I Think I am or Am I what You say I am???

A very good friend of mine recently reminded me of the old and very (believable) adage “there is a fine line between genius and insanity”. Now I know I’m about round trip to the sun and back from brilliance, and most people conveniently cross over to insanity after they very rationally conclude the life of their spouse and other love ones in a harrowing yet calculated manner, there is a strong element of truth contained within that maxim. I utilize such a preface to assure you when I say… “excuse my schizophrenic display of thoughts ” that I’m safely residing comfortably in saneville, even though some try to take me go to the hood of insanity and while Ill never be “good enough” to be allowed through genius community gates, although I like marvel at its buildings from afar . Then again, most sane people state there crazy, and most crazy people fervently; state their sane. Oh the subjective crux. Alight let me stop messing with yea head lol There is a point to all this tho…………..

Beginning

During a previous blog I comprised in August (“Race based education”) I briefly mentioned the latent but internally strong jealousy I hold via inhabitants of the Caribbean who are able to bask in there nationality and heritage due to it’s unambiguous nature. A few of reality’s truths where mentioned, then I went on to speak about something exceedingly important: Baseball?

Change of scenery

Last week when on a out of town trip in a popular metropolis my cohorts and I happened to encounter a store forthrightly named “Boricua Emporium”. Being that one within our party of four was/is proudly a progeny of Puerto Rican heritage, who sadly, rarely ever encounters persons of his ethnic background, nor the extended, almost necessary benefits those encounters create, where we reside. So we all traveled the up the hallway which should have had “stairway to heaven” emanating thru the walls. When we entered the diminutive but welcoming confines, Puerto Rican articles of clothing and trinkets where pervasive everywhere. After feeling good for our friend and trying to point out stuff we thought was “hot” (fuck you Paris for fucking up our word!!!) my friend and I started to look around for something that we could purchase. Ironically we where spurred on by the Dominican shirt we witnessed, and then become aware of all other nationality based clothing in the store. Friend: “Damn they even got a Trinidadian shirt up in here” Me: Shit I can front like a Jamaican…I could get dreads quick then a motherfucker” Friend: “Man it’s fucked up that we aint got no flag, aint no shit we can even buy in here..” The happiness once held for our friend was let go as we embraced harsh reality and sadness.

The Trip Home

Since I was the lazy bastard who did not put one second in on the driving while reaching our destination, I rightfully began the first leg home. Losing the battle against the sweet whims of sleep, I decided to exit of the turnpike and purchase a much needed Mountain Dew, before I drove all of the cars inhabitants to a peaceful death. Little did I know that the gas station was inconveniently placed 3 miles away from the exit, which inevitably led to my friends to wake up and question where we where. Me being tired, on edge, in a Donald Rumsfield/ Drew Rosenhaus mood to answer questions, my responses where short and terse to what I felt where sarcastic questions of “where are we at?” and silence that spoke with its presence alone. After the thickness in the air subdued slightly people in the car started going through the gear they had purchased and reminisced about the trip. While recollecting, the trip to the Puerto Rican store came back up. Friend: “Man we where happy for you, but it was fucked up we couldn’t buy any thing. To which someone replied “Why didn’t you buy something with a African Flag?” which garnered the strong response “Nigga I aint African, they don’t even like us anyway!!!!” Now personally I hate when black people make blanket statement about how Africans don’t like there American brethren, but I have to admit no matter how small, there is some validity to that sentiment. Taking a less harsh stance I chose to point out the Africa was way to large for us to claim the whole continent, so I felt it fruitless and foolish to do so. So another asked “Your American you can’t you just rock a American flag??” Which prompted me to state “We American on paper in reality we all know where not American” followed by the ignorant “they view them “foreigners” more American than us” which I would direct anybody to tell a Arab person that but I digress.

“Quotes” of the Conversation

“You know we need our own flag”…….”We don’t even have our own country, how can we have our own flag” “Every body else has they own flag, we should make one up” “I dunno…what the black people flag?” “Hell yea!!!” “Hmm Yo they would fight that shit real hard” “Who why?” “White people, conservatives, black people who think they American……they would look at it as divisive” “Mannnnnn Fuck them!!!” “Hmmmm I think the only people who don’t have any land but have there own flag are the Palestinians, so maybe it has been done before” “Think about the pride it would give us, think about what it would do for the kids” Man black people would fight it” “Huhh?” “Yo hold up, since we talking about flags, what do yall think about Young Jeezy with that Snow Man shit?” “Man he embarrassing us in front of the world, I respect him getting paid off of it, his grind or what ever, but he should be embarrassed and ashamed for himself” “Yea but we all still listen to his music, and White people looking at us like “The Snowman” is our flag” “Yeahh” “But yo we could do studies, no our history when we got on tv and in the media about the flag so we knew what we were talking about “ We can’t do it alone” “Why?” “ Cuz we would be speaking for a whole people” “hmm” “Plus Black people would fight it cuz we wouldn’t be able to agree on how it should be constructed” Why would they do that?” “Cuz there are 3 black people in this car and we cant agree, now just imagine 33 million of us” “They would think about the movement” “Dog…White people have a better conception or at least more definitive one of what black people are then we do.” “How so?” “To them if you got a lil black in you your black, no matter what u mixed with, us, some of us won’t even claim Alicia Keys and Hallie Berry, cuz they look at them as mixed”. “True…” So who what, who are we then?” “I guess we just niggaz”……….. Dame Dame Dame !!!!!!!! The fucken deer!!!!!!............. End of conversation……..

This Week

The near death experience I incurred did not jar the contents of the flag conversation from my mental. The debate had branched off and spawned many various levels of thought. Who am I, Am I What I Think I am or What others say I am? During the week I had some conversations with some very good friends of Spanish decent who I am lucky to have in my life. Somehow the conversation turned to how I didn’t view them as Spanish, but rather by there nationality (Cuban, Rican) .The conversations we held brought out various known ideas labeled as beliefs, such as theoretically I’m just as English as they are Spanish, various political, social and economic rationale lead to the dissemination of and slight acceptance of them in to Spanish culture, while American Blacks never look at them selves as English ,and really with the exception of white people, the vast majority of people who inhabit the Western hemisphere, are relatively new persons, in the sense that they have only been in existence for 400 yrs (give or take) at maximum.

Just as Columbians, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans and many others are the wonderful human results of a amalgamation of various racial backgrounds, so are American Blacks. Go head and see if the average black person ever acknowledges his European Blood line, and if you’re a white person and true to point out that fact…..look intently at the glare you receive.

I love Africa, I love my African roots, but I am not African. I’m not speaking in a geographic origin sense, but a genetic and mental one. Even if I and innumerable persons could piece together the millions of broken branches to our family tree, it would be for not help, cause the countries that layer lands previous have no real relevance to our history.

So what am I left with? I’m not American, because I’m not accepted nor do I choose to accept that title. I’m Not African, because the connection I feel to it often less than the one disconnect I have with it. What do I call myself? What do others call me? A Nigga.

My cousin is presently comprising a paper for class about the history and impact of the word Nigga.. We had various consultations about the meanings and effects of the term throughout heated and enjoyable conversations. Combined with previous thoughts, I came to the conclusion that we are the only group of people who always state who/ what we are before any statement or sentiment is conveyed ..That nigga did this. That nigga was. That nigga etc etc…. It’s almost like before we are even persons, individuals, human beings…we are niggas. And for those who think I’m just trying to put the word nigga in a negative light, as if I’m expecting Asians to say “That Chink” or Spanish people to say “That Spic”, think about this, those same Spanish and Asian people, don’t utter, “That Asian did this” or That Spanish guy/girl was”. The reality of us being niggaz is omnipresent and supersedes even being human, at least in hidden practice. When coupled with the fact that when most non black people speak the word nigga, its spawned within from distain and hate, and most of the world views us like so, our accepted definition of ourselves becomes more depressing. Am I what I Think I Am….or Am I what others Say I am………..If I say I am Something…..and others View me as I view my Myself…..can or should I even be disturbed?

A lot of personal questions, to a problem shared by millions. What am I? Up until last week I felt I was a Black person….and a Nigga.. Now I feel that I much more than that definition. No matter the positive or negative connotation. But What?

That Flag sure would help now………………….

AIM- ILLAIM365

Yahoo- illiaimofdaconection

Msn- daconection@hotmail.com

Comfortable Phrases….

When times where simpler (or maybe I just was) I often had a penchant of reciting chemically induced freestyles. During the utterance of spontaneously generated prose, I sometimes became over come with a loss of words, causing me to fall back on my trusted phrase (What Da Fuck!!??!!). Why do I once again conjure up the soul of the 90’s? When trying to summarize the collective view of this weeks event, the trusty three word phrase was once again called into duty. My official statement on the so called apathy of Americans is “They don’t give a fuck like Nuns or Prostitutes”. Why? well because as I write this its 70 degrees in Michigan on November 3^rd meaning some super villain has gotten a hold of a weather machine or global warming as a old school rapper would say is “in full effect” and because…………………..

Can You Find The Hidden Prison?

In it’s everlasting quest to bring joy to the masses it seems that our government has engaged in helping hundreds of families reenact there favorite chosen cinematic story of love and determination, by creating the opportunity for individuals to “scour the earth” for there missing love ones. The prior actions of individuals and entities tend to construct the perceptions placed upon them, so surely I would only expect the most ostentatious of stratagems from the good folks that bought us such classics as MKULTRA ….Coientelpro and almost let Reinhard Gehlen

lead us to nuclear annihilation. Yes it seems that the good folks at the CIA have been placing human beings in covert prisons that not even the most expensive of GPS machinery can locate. While it can be logically acute to state a large numerical swath of our citizenry condones or is largely indifferent to, by most moral and legal standards, reprehensible detention of hundreds of souls in the name of the war on terror unless the possible torture of a prisoner leads to a 20 cent raise in gas prices, the CIA is taking no chances. It seems that the benevolent government agency has been giving free room and board to individuals lucky enough to be deemed terrorist or enemy combatants in hidden prisons scoured throughout eight countries like palatial Thailand to those located in the historical Eastern Europe region. .What makes these prisons horrifically unique is there oversight or lack thereof. Not even those who comprise the most powerful governing body in the history of man (yes or congress man/women is important) have any knowledge of the location let alone practices at the so called “black sites”. Yes, the location and polices of said prisons are only known to the most qualified of individuals ie: the President and top agency officials. In the spirit of preemptive action, this consortium is already trying to relive the CIA responsibility of not pursing “cruel and degrading treatment of any prisoner in U.S. custody” in proposed legislation. Hey what worker wants to give up rights and privileges? Hmm let me pose a question to you….how would your actions be altered if you had no oversight to or repercussions for your actions? I thought so. The pain of not knowing is infinitely more painful than the cold solace of closer. Even if you believe that it is correct to arrest and detain persons for indefinite periods of time with out formally charging them, our granting the right to legal council and due process, can you at least find that the family members of those held should know where they are being seized? If a man is being tortured but nobody can locate the prision he’s at to be able to hear him scream….is he really being tortured? I think I’m gonna go pimp smack my boss tomorrow and tell the pigs it was in the best interest of national security.

Boy Them Negros Surrre is Fasssst.

A few years ago I succumbed to the conclusion that if you took a average individual and subjected them to all forms of American media for 3 years or more, then injected them with sodium pentothal and asked them there general perception on 3 races say……Asian Black and White…they would state: Asians are smarter than Pentium chips, cant drive, never break the law and have little dicks, Blacks have big dicks, are ungodly superior in athletic feats, sire children like fish and commit almost all of the crime, while White people seem to embody the perfect amalgamation of all prior mentioned qualities contributing to them being human equivalent of a happy medium. Now the hypotheses, just predicted likely stereotypes that would be formulated. Some say that stereotypes are hurtful completely untrue and should be eradicated from ones conscious. I agree. Then I don’t. Sad to say stereotypes are like good jokes, they are always founded, no matter how miniscule or subjectively altered it may be, on a element of truth. This brings us the 67 year old Air Force football coach Fisher Deberry who after recivig a routine service accadamy ass kicking on the gridiron spoke candidly on the reason why. "They had a lot more Afro-American players than we did and they ran a lot faster than we did", followed by "It just seems to me to be that way," "Afro-American kids can run very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me that they run extremely well.". The referencing of a race of people by a hair style 30 yrs plus removed from it’s apex (come to think of it even “Mullet Americans” seems kind of harsh) not with standing, I could just refute his beliefs with personal experience, such as my participating in athletic event with supremely talented white people, or my woefully anemic hooping skills, but I would ultimately be undone by my admittedly above average speed ,quickness, and jumping ability and the reality that personal experience is the worst base to base a foundation on. So I shall turn to the truth, in America black athletes on average, not in a genetically inherent, applying to every black person since the dawn of time way, are better. There I said it, and I believe it, because I know it. Now of course the political correctness scourge poured in and chastised and shamed Mr Deberry into a expedient apology, while he hoped to retain his position that many where calling for. While I found his comments extremely ignorant, they did not anger me at all. The national commentary generally ran the gamut of “he coulda just said it in a better way” or “aren’t we at a point in this country where we can just laugh at stuff like this”? Wow. The whole say it better thing kina rankles me for the simple fact it’s just code for “be fake” about it. Say what you mean, mean what u say. Dan Patrick and others who posed that we should just laugh at the “old, out of touch white coach” receive thanks from me for the sole reason of giving rationale for me to utilize the word “patronize” because that’s what they where doing to me by posing that question. As previously stated I don’t believe the coaches premise was wrong, which would by default mean I concur with his truth. The problem with some truth’s tho is that they tend to branch out to other false hoods, and people tend not to understand the reason behind the accepted truth. Tho I and 99% of black people can’t tell you exactly where in the content our ancestors stem from, we as African Americans (damn I hate that term) are decedents of Africa. Geographically speaking you could fit three centennial U.S’s inside of Africa, let alone the expansive population, which would seem to be a bountiful harvest for all institutions specializing in athletics to pick from. Alas in an age where scouts spare no expense in search of talent whithin there perspective sports, I seem to not see Africans dominating nothing except your yearly “Boston Marathon” Two simple sayings, there is a reason for everything, and, people avoid the truth. I don’t care what group of human beings you take in this world, if you breed them for and subject them to 400 yrs or continuous hard labor, while prohibiting diversification of lifestyle under penalty of death, I guarantee they will become the best athletes where they reside. Such ideas and discourse are purposely suppressed, which leads to people believing that “Black People where always better athletes” which in turn cause belief in other stereotypes….the cycle continues……

Random Thoughts

“Brownie your doing a heck of a job” That was the ubiquitous quote uttered by our Commander and chief in the days after Hurricane Katrina, lauding the former Fema director Michael Brown’s efforts. Let’s look at some of those efforts shall we. When told the situation was past critical, by a Fema official stating food and water where rapidly depleting possibly leading to riot causing conditions "... you know the situation is past critical," .. "Estimates are many will die within hours." Brown replied via e-mail “"Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?” That’s it no more no less.. Have you ever wanted to choke someone who seemed to be oblivious or just didn’t plain care about the importance of a certain situation? Okay then, join me in the desire or grasping the neck of Mr. Brown who during what arguably was and still ongoing, Americas most horrifying natural disaster, spoke “Can I quit now? Can I come home?" and "I'm trapped now, please rescue me.," which has to be in my view one of the most egregious comments self serving comments in history, given the people who he was in charge of saving where latterly trapped and dying while he postponed action for such pertinent actions as going to a Baton Rouge restaurant for din din. I’m still haven’t reached the point where I can remotely laugh let alone smirk at the Hurricanes aftermath, but I find it sadly ironic that when I noticed that the president and other government officials had there sleeves rolled up, I thought it was somewhat contrived, and the e-mails to and from Brown confirm it as so, for he was berated for not rolling up his. While you are thinking “boy that guy is a piece of shit” know this, even tho he resigned his post, the man is still recives his six figure salary. Hmmmm So a bartender can serve a women a drink that she wanted which cause her death, and get charged with man slaughter, but a man show cogent ignorance and callous to those he swore to protect gets a paid vacation? Smh

So the Democrats held a closed session in the chambers of Congress and vowed to impede normal operation until a concise review of the possible misleading of the public during the march to the war on Iraq. A couple of things. 1.It’s nice to see that the Democrats are showing some heart and resolve for actual important issues. 2 It untimely doesn’t matter: If the Democrats let there nuts hang during the debates leading up to the invasion of Iraq instead of having the acid in there stomach melt them, maybe we wouldn’t need said investigation, many lives would still exist, and we would be slightly less hated. Bottom line mostly all sane people knew the grounds for our military action was based upon pure bullshit, but the democrats in office, to shook to take a stand for what was right and good, followed along with any and all incursions performed by the Hawkish Bush administration during that time. All the republicans can and will say is…You democrats supported action based on the same info, which they did.

Isaiah Thomas makes Al Campanis seem right.

I can’t think of a Bigger piece of human scum than Bill Romanowski

I’ll say it, and challenge anyone to call me disrespectful and unappreciative, Rosa Parks death did not need to receive all that coverage, at all. If it exists, I might just go to hell, cause I was heated that they cut away from Monday Night Football in the Detroit area to discuss it

The term “Urban” fucks with me

Fin

AIM- ILLAIM365

msn- Daconection@hotmail.com

yahoo- illaimofdaconection

Diversity of Thought

Progression is a beautiful thing when it nears the correct destination. During the majority of my existence I’ve been so introspective that its amazing that I have any knowledge beyond my own boundaries. I have a very good friend who believes, to the point of knowing as fact, that all information in of its self is neutral in nature. It’s no genetic code…but I think I really have mastered the “Anatomy of Damien”, and have come to realize the composition of myself is no masterpiece. Although its not the most eloquent or articulate of phrases, what is: is what is. I’ve been caught in a perpetual cycle of lifestyle, which shames me as my only marker of consistency. The phrase of “knowledgeable ignorance” has recently been introduced to my lexicon and I realize that I’ve practiced it faithfully unbeknownst to self. If I despise hypocrites with a passion, how can I bestow great advice, but refuse to apply the same doctrine to my own ills? If there is one thing I’ll never know, its when my last second will be, so in all honesty I shed the comfort familiarity, and delve in actions that treat those within my world and myself appropriately. ……………

Allight I would be lying if I said I didn’t know where that came from, but trust it wasn’t planned. In truth I have many premeditated ideas I want touch like Alicia Keys, so I’ma hold off on where my mind seems to be at in favor of where it has been recently.

I had a bymyself conversation (not literally) in which I decided that I would make a conscious effort to try to speak less or not at all about race in my next few blogs. Beyond the fact of sounding monotonous, I don’t want to disseminate the idea that race is my main or only foucus. Alas as my homie Los told me, the perfect name for a album would be “Race, Money, and Pussy” , so as hard as I tried to avoid it my first topic is….

The N.B.A Dress Code

During the formative (dare I say wonder) years, our parents or guardians often lent sacred adages that did nothing but annoy and anger us. One of the most oft repeated ones I heard while residing on 5317 Kincaid st was “When you get your own house, you can do what you want to, until then your going to do what the fuck I say!!!”. Yes my childhood was filled with all types of niceties, but that strays from the point that was transferred: independence grants certain freedoms otherwise subject to be removed at the whim of others.

When I first heard of the new N.B.A dress code I wasn’t surprised at all. To the astonishment of others, due to my mainly pro (no pun) athlete stance I didn’t think it was a bad nor unfair requirement. The N.B.A is a billion dollar entity. Most if not all corporate structures enforce some semblance of a dress code upon its employees when they are conducting some form company business. I’m always one to see plentitudes of grey in a world most view as black n white, but the simplistic truth that you can freely leave your employment if you despise certain aspects of it enough applies to the N.B.A as it does to any profession.

Yet the dress code issue raised my ire. Why? Well being that I have curmudgeon tendencies, some things really irritate me. Two of those things happen to be, people hiding there true rational, or agenda, and trying to cover up what they really mean in deceptive wording.

If David Stern would have held a press conference and stated:

“Due to the extremely negative image that the average N.B.A player has in the eyes of the general public, and more importantly affluent white male consumer who contributes greatly to our fiscal success. which was only exacerbated by the riot in suburban Detroit nearly a year ago, The N.B.A has decided to attempt to tame the “hip hop” look feel and ultimately culture itself within its boundaries, as to appease very significant segments of our fan base.”

That’s all they had to say. The truth when immediacy given if not initially, eventually usually proves to be the best course action. Instead David Stern and his minions relayed a strong mantra of professionalism as the only reason for the implantation of the seemingly spontaneously generated dress code. The media coverage of the dress code intertwined with some sporadic Dead Prez listening is what almost curbed my peaceful nature. It seemed like the media was in collusion to promote the most ignorant niggaz and there absurd statements. Marcus Camby became this years version of Latrell Sprewell when posed that player should be given a stipend to “help” pay for the new dress requirements, while Raja Bell who obviously has a very oblivious nature said that the N..B.A’s move marketed at the wrong people sincerely stating that the vast majority of its fans are of the hip hop ilk, which you could make a decent argument for, but he presented that argument like a fool. As usual the remarks of sane people where neatly tucked away, the dress code has been a hot topic for at least a week in a half and I just finally came across views such as those held by Jason Richardson: "You still wear a suit, you still could be a crook,". "You see all what happened with Enron and Martha Stewart. Just because you dress a certain way doesn't mean you're that way."Hey, a guy could come in with baggy jeans, a do-rag and have a Ph.D., and a person who comes in with a suit could be a three-time felon. So, it's not what you wear, it's how you present yourself." The ironic and sad thing about that quote is, I had to find it in a Canadian newspaper. Even tho he also stated foolishly that players should be compensated with stipends to help comply with the new dress requirements, Allen Iverson was very correct when he surmised of the new code “ I don't think that's still going to help the image of the league at all."

A famed leader once what do you call a Blackman with a Phd. What was the answer? A nigga. The profession or dress of any human being is not enough to change the innate basic view others hold of them. Ultimately the dress code eases the psyche of a certain segment of fans with the sweet elixir of power. Fans who will populate arenas by the millions this basketball season will still cheer with the ultimate good will or deride with the most evil of natures. Those spectators who the N.B.A instituted these changes for will still feel that the average N.B.A player is a spoiled, inconsiderate thug, but they will feel great that they have them under some guise of control via there clothing attire.

All I know is …I’d be much more apt to choke to death a person who thru beer on my Armani suit than on my game uniform…………..

Random Thoughts

Addiction

The first step to solving a problem is admitting it..so (deep breath) I’m addicted to Wikipedia . Maybe its me going back to my youth when my season long punishments granted me the opportunity to become cool with my cell mate World Book, or just the plain simplicity of it. No matter the reason Wikipeda has increased my CP time and I haft to find some way to step away…slightly. Think its just me…try it for a second….don’t be scared….I’m a good person not like I’m offering you heroin or anything……..

Principle over Profit?

A associate of mine and a good fiend of one of my peoples recently returned from Texas on leave from participating in the Katrina clean up. He immediately altered us of the fiscal windfall he had been immersed in through his work, and how his monetary situation was about to become even better upon the cessation of his leave, for his new location of employ: New Orleans. In a time of where thousands throughout the gulf coast region are mired in the most destitute of conditions, labor is scant, and city employees where recently laid off in huge numbers, my friend stated that there was going to be a open house recruiting meeting offering contracts for cleanup labor, 1 year $80, 000. The prospect of such employment excited me then sobered with it traveling thru the various levels of my thought. Why should anyone be compensated so much for a abet harsh….yet simplistic job? Why aren’t the people who where most adversely affected given the first and strongest opportunity to fill such needed positions.? Why is such work being handled by billion dollar corporations, excluding the city’s and states that could desperately use the infusion of government funds? You and I already know the answers, but the questions still need to be asked. I thought about, but most likely not going to go to the meeting, mainly due to the year away and the extreme work hours, which within me shows a cruel realistic callousness. Even tho most of us know such practices are wrong, we participate in them due to personal self interest. ..Sorrta like shopping at Wal Mart I guess…….

Being a Mobb Deep fan for over a decade…witnessing the downfall of Prodigy …..is a very very sad thing… This nigga actually said “50 cent saved me” …smh…..

Numerous People have told me I remind them of a character in the movie “Crash”. I avoided watching the movie for a long time due to the reports of it being a extremely racist motion picture. Acquiescing to the wants of other I decided to rent it, where during the process the lady left the lock on the dvd…..a sign? I’m looking for peace and tranquility not anger in my life lol

Sometimes my sense of sight has caused me to utter… “I wish they didn’t let black people on tv” Well my philosophy was re confirmed when my boy Jeff recently altered me to a DC area car commercial for Eastern Motors. I’ll be honest…as much as I shook my head in shame at first….I can’t tell you the innumerable amount of times I watched this clip over and over……. I promise you immense laughter

It’s the second one from the top

Eastern Motors....damn i'm still lauging

The recent small riot in Toledo was a sad thing to witness. Off top I’m glad that all my fam and friends in that area went thru it unscathed. Now….The mayor of Toledo is right in stating that it is America, and even tho he his city did not grant permits to the nazi group, you simply can’t (or shouldn’t) stop people from just walking down a street. Where I disagree with the mayor is with is public relations school 101 blaming of gang members for the disturbances. While the burning down of random shit is a idiotic and dated form of protest, most of the persons involved did not participate in such activities and where not “gang members”, but citizens who arrived in a show of solidarity for there community, with a refusal to be disrespected. The mayor himself stated he was “disturbed” at the number of women and children in the crowd. Women and children are integral parts of a “community”. Sadly, as many predicated, ultimately the hate group got exactly what they wanted…….

I recently perused a “top 100” fastest growing careers in America for the 21^st century book.. Some of the rapidly growing professions?. Co’s / Pigs/ and bill collectors….i wonder why……………

Damn you MTV Jams ….damn u to hell. During the week you are one the plethora of reasons I shun the television. But what is this….before I decide to go out on Saturday I witness u playing the most joyous block of videos my eyes have seen . Soul by the Pound remix/ Passing me By/ Bring the Pain/ Down with the King/ Follow the Leader/ Gold Digger….upon more and more classic songs…..as I asked my self why don’t they do this more often….I received a theory I didn’t like….that most of the people who loved songs such as these where in the 25- 38 range…hence might or prolly have families and don’t go out on Saturdays that often ..if at all. Damn such a dilemma…..maybe I’ll be more apt to stay at home and play spades now……..

Killa Bee’s……West Nile Virus….and now Bird Flu…..I don’t give a fuck.

A few years ago I had lost faith in any network lacking the acronym of HBO, of having the ability to create any thing nearing a superior drama series. A year after its premier I realize that “Lost” has proven me quite wrong. I might be stretching entertainment by finding the correlations between the cycle of violence and basic political structures in society via the show…but damnit it’s good none the less.

Cartoons for Everyone

Very short and to the point…I’m a fan of political cartoons. So since you where kind enough to share your time with me, I’ma share some of the boards I’ve seen this week and simple thoughts on them

The views many hold on the Iraqi Constitution voting have lowered my faith in the intelligence of the masses, but there is always hope.

Nice job sepreating the insurgents from the "good" Iraqis, but even beyound that insn't there one american blood stainded hand missing?

Such a simplistic and positve view

My personal view

Ever hear of the term trial of the victors?

Extremely Fuzzy Logic

and

Songs and Lines

These are just some of my favorite songs and lines I’ve heard over the past few weeks, some relevant to my recent train of thought…some not.

Reflection of a Man/ Necro , Ill Bill

Aint nothing/ Silk the shocker …what u know about 1996?

In the rain/ Game and mob

That’s my hood/ Guci Mane……respect and dislike are different entities

We major/ Kayne West Nas….We ill get a Nas and Jigga album….when thy both are Barry Bonds age

The official/ Nas and Big Pun

Black girl lost/ Nas remix with Papoose

Street life/ Az and half a mill……Damn you Supreeme and Murder Inc, yall stole a talkent

Philosaphy of terror/ Jedi Mind Tricks……Vinne Paz…..angry angry intelligent man

Ya ass got took/ Scarface…classic Face

Put ya hammer down/ Wu- Tang

Stacey Adams/ Snoop……..you can’t name a cooler song can u?

Street nigga / Young Jeezy …….Why as this left off the album?

Like a angry crippled man don’t push me/ Ghost face

“running across the chess board with a gat aimed at ya queen”

“ maken good out of evil / holden my self back, it’s so fucken hard not to beat the shit out of peoaple”/ Necro

Cocaine soft and white like Michael jackson/ Guci Mane….funny guy

Niggaz is getten ova like unprotected sex with oprah./ Ras Kass

Verse of the Week

All conisuors of good music recived a gift when Ras Kass was released from prison, his recent verse off of the “Think Differently Music: Wu-Tang Meets the Indie Culture” alum on the song “Verses” shows once again his brilliance

“Who say Ras Kass don't spit fire, he a liar

That's like your favorite rap star claiming he gon' retire

When you mention me, not about penitentiary

Wins and rhyme skills, both twenty second century

Ahead of my time, school niggaz like Timbuktu

Cuz I'm original, Black Valosh Jew

Valoorsby BUFU , buy us, fuck you

Try us, fuck you, you die, y'all got gats, but him buck too, nigga

Sip the Grey Goose, and conned it, they know the room service

In Hotel Rwanda, reminder to honor these street scholars

Who ask why U.S. Defense is twenty percent of the tax dollar

Bush gave 6.46 billion to Halliburton

For troops support efforts in Iraq

Meanwhile, the hood is hurting, please believe that

The rape over, Chaney charging, 45 dollars for a case of soda

Draining tax payers, eighty five thousand dollar oil filters

But won't pay they soldiers, Halle Burton workers make

Fourteen thousand dollars a month, privates earn thirteen g's a year

Please who 25 extra, taking fire in combat

Recruit all the niggaz, that die from where I'm at

18 years old, talking 'Kill, where Saddam at?'

But can't have a gat, to protect where my moms at

I love to crunk, so what, plus I'm gangsta enough

To piss in pimping Ken’s, pimp cup, rack again and pump it up

How bitches still get fucked, niggaz just want a forty and a blunt”

Allight….I’m done….oh but I have one last thing to say  without words..

Peace…….and people sending me Friend Requests from Myspace music pages with out as much as saying what up first…..I got yall soon…………

AIM – ILLAIM365

Yahoo- illaimofdaconection

Msn- Daconection@hotmail.com

Rakim said it best........

Alas freedom!!!! 2005 has been a very strange, trying and complete ________ (I’m trying to consciously eradicate the term “bitch” from my vocabulary, so insert what you feel appropriate) of a year. Due to a litany of reasons, and ultimately my own negative actions I’m currently not attending school for the first time in 4 yrs. The best way I can describe my absence from class is: imagine being at the counter about to purchase a expensive prized possession ( car, house, coach bag, Russian bride (j/k) 5 pounds of weed (sans counter) only to realize that your 7 dollars short, and the transaction is voided out. Except for the $7 dollars actually being around $3000 and me trying to add about 12 credits instead of decadent material possession, I think the analogy fits. Since singular individuals don’t have telethons held for them, and because I have become utterly disgusted with the society which finances fundraisers after the B.E.T telethon( BET results) raised more money than Monday Night Football (with two games!!!)(Monday Night Football results) for hurricane Katrina survivors, I decided to quit masquerading my Timbs as fashion tools and utilize them in their company stated mandated purpose, labor. So over the course of the last month I’ve participated in 12 hour workdays…7 days a week, which if anything has solidified my main ambition of adding 8 hours to the day if I ever make a expedition into politics.

There is a ebb and flow to everything, and even though I received some of the biggest checks in my life, the 3 ½ hours I had to my self each day left little time for the people or things I love such as writing. So a dilemma arises….I have a backlog of thoughts .. should I just delete them, or just sound dated? Hmmmmm

Well if not for anything for a nice shiny title I had all planned out:

“The Blame Game” the New and Improved Race Card And the Dynamic of Polar Extremes”

I thinks I will act like ya local corner/ party store / bodega and disperse selections of a dated product…not that I don’t’ have love for yall or nothing………………..

Anyone that knows me fairly well understands that one the first places that will be stamped on my yet un-purchased passport will be Brazil. Now the rational for my certain future voyage is debatable….could it be the largest concentration of black people of outside Africa reside there, the palatial environment….or pure hedonistic thoughts? Hmmm I dunno…or just refuse to dry snitch on myself, but I will state that the supposed lowered emphasis on race visa vi class does intrigue me. If the latter is my sole reason, I can just save my money because much to my surprise race doesn’t matter anymore in America. Don’t believe me, how come? It was all over the news this past month. “Is there a class divide in America” “Did class haft to do with the ability of those trapped during the Hurricanes?” “Did class cause political apathy which in turned translated into political callous?” Honestly I haft to respect intelligence, so I say it was wise if abet utterly careless to ignore race role in last months disasters. Confrontation of reality is not the fastest route back to blissful ignorance you know?.......

I have a variety of mantras. One of those happens to be “There is a reason for everything”. I ascribe to that view even if understanding the logic behind such reason. causes my brain to hemorrhage. One such occurrence of this actuality occurred when I studied some recent (ed note: not so recent) polls

“A new Zogby poll shows President Bush's approval rating at 40% among likely voters with 59% disapproving. In dealing with Hurricane Katrina, 36% rate Bush's job as excellent or good and 60% rate his job as fair or poor”

Hmmm maybe Amercan standards have just fell off completely or we just could be more like the Roman Empire than I thought and love evil entertaiment. Nothing like seeing how long the nigga can go without water before he dies….If they put this on during the summer….maybe people would’t clammar for the NFL so much. From what I saw, there must be a lot of people out here with Mr Smithers like hearts to deem the Presidents response as “Excellent”

“A recent Washington Post-ABC News poll "illustrates the point vividly. Just 17 percent of Democrats said they approved of the way Bush was handling the Katrina crisis while 74 percent of Republicans said they approved”

Add no food, no water, blame the victem, while viewing from a aerial postion…and you

have a recipe for compansonate conservitism hmmm mmm. Tasty..

2 Second thoughts on the Bush Family…

I’ve been hearing a lot of talk about how people just want to blame President Bush for

everything. I can only represnet my self, when I say that personally thats the furthest

thing from the truth. If I could impose a undefeatable will upon the planet…nobody

would ever commit actions they could be “blamed” for. Alas my ablilty to impose

my will, just like my flesh, is weak so people proceed to commit actions which in turn cause results and elicit emotions.,,,,Hence our fearless leader

So people….it’s not so much asigning blame, but attributing proper resonces to the deeds of others.

So…. Any man who call on the help, then proceeds to hide shadows of the man who held his job before him, and his father…is a Bitch (damn I failed)

Also,,,.. after this comment about the evucuees in the Astrodome by Barbra Bush

“Almost everyone I've talked to says we're going to move to Houston. ... What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this -- this is working very well for them.”

I will proceed to subscribe to the Bush women are drunken ignorant whores who spawn decrepit leaders view until further given a reason to alter my perception.

I’m not a Kayne West fan ….at all. Maybe it’s the fact that I tend to not like people who hold asshole like characteristics, or my perpetual support of the underdog over what is immensely popular, whatever the cause…he won’t be getting my $20 anytime soon. What he has of mine prolly until I perish is my respect for getting on national T.V and stating how he and millions of others felt, putting many things most wouldn’t sacrifice, on a precarious line. We all know what he said, so lets look at some of the things some of the people said about what he said.

New England Patriots fans booed him….but honestly my bar isn’t raised high for amebas dressed in red white in blue (sorry Savy)

Went over to Allhiphop (Like rap? )and read some guy Sher Zieve stated “Showing yet again that leftist have raised a generation of ignorant malicious and increasingly incompetent to comment on virtually anything adults Kayne West a ostensible “rapper” joined the never ending since 2000 bush bash fest.”

Hmmm not that great at deciphering things….but it seems that those on the left are to blame for all of public speaking ills that afflict Americans, and incompetence is defiened is a synonym for disagreement……I think…….

My personal favorite tho is this

Image

People of juxtaposing views will always exist even if they really wish they did not haft to coexist. Knowing such a fact, when people create such art, it really doesn’t anger me, just reinforce what my knowledge of what elements of thought are out there.

While most where mad that the white cartoonist used the word nigga in his work, I myself relized that Andy Marlette and I would neva be able to hold a civil converasation, after reading his comments. On his work…. “If anything it’s celebrating a black person who has really done something great and represents the best of black culture” in reference to Condoleezza Rice.

Who da fuck is this guy to say what represents the best of “black culture”?

I have a hard enough time pondering the fact Rice, and Clarence Thomas are the two most powerful Black political figures in America, let alone 50 “Fuck another nigga kids” Cent is the country most famous black artist. The world we live in sheesh

I think I woulda had to duff my man in the face for that one

Hmmmm I think that’s enough of sporadic old thoughts….new ones soon

Peace

AIM - ILLAIM365

MSN- Daconection@hotmail.com

Cant wait till the Boondocks make it to Adult Swim.........