You know I don’t despise Puffy.
Sure he is the poster boy for black assimilation into individualistic corporate American structure via actions ranging from, paying South American women 60 cent a hour stitch his ($70 retail) Sean John Jeans among other fine articles of wear, fleeces his artist to the point they have to rob hotel guests (Black Rob) or displaces them a area so remote that the most astute Federal Agent couldn’t unearth them, and exudes American excess such as spitting up crystal like a 3month baby who despises his/her gerber, while billions reside on earth with no running water. Even if many people can make a cogent argument that he started the downfall of Hip Hop or at least lead it to it’s current state of malaise, I still don’t hate Puffy.
So why am I referencing a person whose endurance of hate from the masses subsided in 2001? Puff despite his shortfalls is a very funny, sometimes astute man thru his music. My favorite diatribes from Diddy occur on the classic Bigge Smalls “Life After Death” cd. On the track “Long Kiss Good Night” during a drunken rant (Dame Dash you are a plagiarizer) he states:
“ your mind has control of your heart, or is its supposed to be the other way around? Your heart has control of your mind, so now I have no feelings for you, you have made me cold”
I never put much analytical thought into that statement, just boisterous laughter, until today. Maybe it was the epiphany towards the understanding of road rage, when a old man waved at me like a annoying flying pest to make a left turn, or later when a driver behind me honked there horn at me, a half of a nano second after the light turned green. Beyond the fact that these people where only acting in such a manner because A. they are protected by 2,000 pounds of machinery and B. no matter what I do in Macomb county I’ll be in the wrong, it made me think about my personality.
In the most unbiased personal assessment I can provide, I can pronounce that I’m a peaceful, truly nice individual. I’m not in the world giving the homeless the shoes off my feet, but I take great care to try make the experience of those who encounter me a pleasant one. Living in such a self created reality, why then do I encounter strife, disputes, and ignorance?
While over used some common phrases like “Taking Kindness for Weakness” hold significant relevance. I’m not above trying to knock somebody the fuck out, or sending the most confident individual dialing the suicide help line, but I try verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry hard to refrain from doing so. But as of this moment ( well actually a few moments ago) I decided not to re-up my subscription to “Being the Bigger man Magazine” fuck that. I’m on 5’8 142 anyway; I’m just not built for it.
Instead of adhering to the phrase of the kind, I’m creating my own mantra: “Assholes create Assholes”. Like most things I conceive and share I’m fairly confident in it. Why you might ask? Well look at anger as a omnipresent transferable force that will always exist, you can do one of three things with it, A. deliver back to those who impose theirs or increase the amount already within u, B. Save your anger and displace it upon a innocent person. C. Or internalize anger which will convert into depression faster than carbs to fat.
Honesty while I’ve used option A quite often, in order to spare the feelings of others I’ve adhered to option C more than I care to imagine, and to those rare people I’ve spazzed on without warrant I’m sorry (note: if you are a option B person, you are going to go to hell if you believe in such a place). While pondering courses of action, I’ve realized that sparing others only destroys thy self.
While the person who negatively affected you is having a blissful day flying a kite or doing coke (it’s what great political leaders do) your wallowing in the misery of second guessing and regret. I chose not to embrace the lowering of my quality of life for others anymore, even at the risk of my shaky Karma.
One of the cruel facts of life is adaptation. If one doesn’t adjust to the surroundings, they will perish in a litany of ways. Our modern polity is cluttered with self centered, pompous __________. Living in such a wretched environment, I have no choice to absorb some of their qualities to survive in the areas they inhabit. Sure, I would love to be the Black Gandhi, but the American ideal of individualism has entered my being and is spreading rapidly, I gotta go for self. I can’t help it when you treat the average women with aura of respect she has a adverse reaction to it and tries to walk on u like a Foot Locker carpet, but when you treat her like shit, she will give you her kidney, or people test you like your applying for Mensa when your nice to them, but hop on ya dick when you put em in check. My uncle who I hate always said “Until you make the rules, you haft to follow them” Maybe he was right……….
“It’s just in my nature to love u, I can’t hate you, cuz it’s not in my nature to hate u, Maybe I’m Just a different type of individual,, but you have me on the line and there is a thin line between love and hate, and God forbid I cross that line, cause I’m not gonna give a fuck I’M TELLEN U RIGHT FUCKEN NOW!!!” P Diddy circa 1997
lol good ole Drunken Puff
Peace
