Domestic Policy ……..Paying Rent

Sometimes you haft to be re acquainted with what you strongly identify with. Elements that comprise your being are often lost within the bureaucracy of life experience, recognized thru memory, but ignored in consistent action. I havent and never will contract hood amnesia, or arguably, the more horrid affliction of Déjà vu, given my omnipresent, life dependent like grasp on reality, but delineations between sincere detached concern, and events that enact kinetic self interest, with potentially irreversible inertia, must be honestly adhered to. On a recent holiday educed excursion to my place of birth, I was fully embraced by events which caused emotions (Sorry Mega, fully respecting your highly lyrical acumen, I refuse to abide by Only Bitches deal with emotions) that traversed elation to utter despair, once again reinforcing the personally empirical maxim of ignorance is bliss while leaving me to concur reality is pain.

During my tenure at the prestigious Friendship Elementary school when not getting right off of powdered kool aid or acquiring the experience required for me to write bars such as ( Feel no sorrow / If Kevan Barlow blew out both knees tomorrow) I learned the concepts of context clues, and foreshadowing. If I chose to utilize said tools, I would have known what I was in for when WAMO before playing a Toni Braxton song preceded it with a barrage of gunshots, sad ,and highly ironic considering that the station is now located in Beaver Falls, but I digress.

Initially things were most enjoyable. Often I repeat the refrain I really only love Pittsburgh for my family friends and the Steelers thats it, with the additional caveat of $1.50 MGDs, much of that remained true. Visiting the ultimate pillar off all things good known as my grandmother, respecting and recognizing with pride the Grown Man my boy Jeff holds down, visiting prior loves, which I will probably continue to love on some level until I perish and seeing my sister which, if havent mentioned before is infinitely superior to me in all aspects., including creating beautiful and intelligent carriers of our linage, which my presently unknown future wife and I will have certainly haft to toil markedly to craft children as amazing as my nephews and niece. They say that sunshine follows rain however, I guess neglecting the fact that the day was most likely nice before the rain even came. I endured the perfect storm.

The women, the children: Completely devoid of any ploys for sentiment, only encompassing personal experience and study while fully recognizing the former is no matter how sardonic, is the weakest form of proof, few if any things dictates ones life like their mother. Keenness wasnt required during observance of group of women diversely unique, yet sharing the same struggle. Blessed with earths most important responsibility, they have and continue to negotiate lifes adverse terrain. Obstacles that would be completely insurmountable for majority to overcome, they endure, often with acrimonious at best relations with those who should love and support them the most. I witnessed countless women some with 1 child others with more, some extremely young the rest a complete smattering of pre 30 adult range maintaining arguably the hardest yet most unsung task maintaining whole family structure and the enormity it contains purely as a solo actor. Having no child of my own, I can not honestly speak the pressures, joys, disillusionments ect of being a father or having to deal with the covenant with your childs mother. No restraint in absentia judgment is held due to lack of experience in the utter disappointment, shame, and anger for fathers being dreadfully perfecting nonexistence. Not solely or even mainly for the children during this very moment, but for those who where once child also, who struggle and often suffer, though surrounded by life, alone. Where does such a path lead?

Views Values, mindset which ever you choose to utilize where solidified and radically altered during my trip. Solidified: racism is going nowhere. All jokes contain some semblance of truth, origin, and sadness. While all in love, they jaunts of black ass nigga, bright ass nigga, among others where bandied around the air, even ya boy had a cool conflict sparked off by you aint Indian nigga. Inner divisions masked by laughter often manifest as hate in other forms withstanding correlations or not. The hate that hate made was omnipresent. Good old fashion American racism in the form of statements and slanders of half breeds directed toward mixed people, and you are unaware, honky not cracker is the racially charged form of slander most popular in the Burgh. As I conversed with a few persons I became immersed within incidents filled with pain that had to alter its structure to attack others lest not destroy ones self. No matter how much I desired to explain that one should try look at persons, no matter there creed or despicable character, as individuals, not as a member of a race known for homogeneous actions, the impact of living history was just to grand. When one is ostracized from a group for the vast majority of there life, and the minimal contact they have with the foreign group comes in the form of harassment, ignorance or those trying usurp freedom, introducing a new schema of perception is extremely difficult, in a completely understandable way.

Music and Drugs: Often Ive assailed the overwhelming predominance of crack, snow, coke, heroin, or fuck it work in rap. My negative assessment mainly has be fueled by the notion that life contains a massive abundance of aspects that could be addressed thru hip hop (generally) that are completely cognitively ignored for the sake of profit or ease of creation. I understand, lived slightly, and have seen realities often spoke of, but when people like Busta Rhymes talk about getting coke from Pablo Escobars daughter, I tend to loose it.

Refresher courses are not just restricted to the corporate world. Witnessing countless individuals chirping (okay squawking) one another about potential sales, or the location of the pigs whose station resides but a couple blocks away. Seeing people take penitentiary chances as the ground level effects of congressional bills in the manifestation of Gestapo patrol cars speedily roaming blocks looking to add the already 2 million individuals incarcerated in the country, all in the name of paying rent, all in order to survive. As, in their most basic form, labor themes, of Hustle Hard Everyday Im Hussling Jeezy the snow man repeatedly rang out in the early summer air, for the first time in my existence I decided narcotics should be legal. When analyzed, the putrid mixture brewed in the caldron of The War on Drugs, there almost seems no other logical path to take. Destitute individuals are forced to sell product that further crumbles there surroundings, and deteriorates the future prospects if not flat out seizing their freedom. The reactionary, to the meticulously devious, construct a plan of relief, that imposes an all ready unwanted, repressive police presence which only exacerbates the problem and hideously squanders funds that could be much better allocated to restructuring lives. Instead billions are used for the latently nefarious admitted goal of taking people off of the streets.

Upon vacating my land of birth to answer the beckoning of labor and responsibility in V.A the next morning, I still held love for my family, friends, and yes city, but my disdain for country sadly increased.

MSN: Daconection@Hotmail.com

Aol Illaim365