Life is the Footage................

I watched TV yesterday, “Oh so the fuck what you say”, well let me illuminate that statement a little. I’m a firm believer, that there are a million things to do, and yet there is nothing to do. Television is a microcosm of that theory, hundreds of channels are made available for viewers pleasure, which they perilously navigate to hopefully become distracted (who needs to be informed) for at least 30 mins. If you are like the writer, you suffer from some yet undiagnosed syndrome that causes the remote to fuse to your right palm, and anger all life enclosed in the same room as you, with your amazingly perplexing miniscule attention span. Eventually I’ll find 2-3 programs worth watching, and will preceded to view, none of them, due to constant channel changing. My horrid affliction, coupled with a barren TV landscape, has caused me not to watch that much TV at all in the past few months, but for some reason when I assumed the Al Bundy position yesterday, and got comfortable. The first visual element I became exposed to was a commercial for the movie “Mr. and Ms. Smith” now anybody remotely close to me knows that Angelina Jolie has reigned on top of my WGILTF list for at least the past 6 years, so I’m mildly interested in almost anything she does. So as the commercial proceeds, all I really gather is, secret agents, guns, their married, more guns, there sexy, bigger guns, there are funny parts, and woah did you see Angelina assume that position cocking back that gun? Sometimes I think that the slave holder that I obtained a percentage of my background from was really named Analytical not Bradley, cause all I could think was, “So much for peaceful conflict resolution.” Society at large always preaches peaceful remedies to solve dilemmas, never lower your self to “their level” they say, respect others and all types of good stuff. Sad to say what I witnessed on TV might cause endless generations of Kindergarten teacher to feel their life’s work went for not, leading to coroner reports that expose 5 yr olds to the harsh realities of life early in the game. First Show: Real World- I vowed never to watch the Real World ever again last year. My reasons where two fold, one, I’ve lived in the “Real World” long enough to understand when someone lets you stay in a palatial urban apartment, gives you a b.s job in a great environment, and a all access pass to liquor and sex, it’s not really real. Secondly, black people on the show are always ho’s in my opinion. I’m not a gay basher by any stretch of the imagination, but if your only gonna have one gay person on the show and only one black guy on the show, why make them one in the same. If your gonna have one black chick, why she only gotta like white guys? Hey I’m all about doing what you want to do, and one or two season’s worth of such actions wouldn’t bother me at all. But MTV’s procedure of always putting the softest, wackest, most herbed out black guy on one of it’s premier shows, along with the subliminal message I was getting from the show (black guys are gay, or weird losers/ easy, attitude having black women go with the white guy…now!!!!) had raised my ire to the point of no return. I mean I’d been waiting for diversity within the diversity on the show for over half my life, I had quit. When I saw the sexy Latin chick tho on this years Austin TX version, I began to watch with all the focus I could muster. The flesh is weak, and while wishing to see more eyecandy, I lied to myself saying “Let me see if they finally got a regular nigga on here”. First Remote Switch: “I Want to be a Hilton” Okay maybe I caught a glimpse of Paris Hilton and thought that a new sex tape was going to be premiered, needless to say I was disappointed when I found out what the show really entailed. From what I quickly surveyed the producers comprised their cast utilizing the stereotype hand book, The young Italian guy who looks like he came straight out of a Sopranos episode, The straw chewing hick, The tell it like it is, you cant cut her from the show cuz she’s black and big, black chick, Token Asian, and the conniving white chick among others, hey I’m in. Commercial Break: My favorite simple pleasure comes on, the Miller Lite “It’s Raining Beer” ad…ahhh serenity” Back to RW: The vagueness of his character, and lack attention paid to the black guy on the show, is making my herb test hard to administer. One of the youngins on the show happens to get laid the fuck out during a drunken brawl tho, score one for peaceful resolution of conflict. Turned to NBA Daft: Niggaz betta get a new hustle cuz Europeans and other non Americans (the term foreigner is ignorant as fuck) are taking over. Quickly I realize that the only two drafts worth paying attention to are the NFL and U.S Army, when I recognized the only European names I could identify are in politics. Back to MTV: I see a commercial for “MADE” and realize the exploitation of others for entertainment will never die. The premise of a show taking someone who is the complete opposite of what they “want” to be, and laughing at there utter failure trying to reach an impossible goal, gives agnostics a point to add to their tally . Back to “I Wanna Be a Hilton” When The Apprentice became super popular, I innately thought,” people love seeing things happen to others that they would shudder to experience, and “ there’s gonna be a lot of horrible remakes”. This show encompassed both. Just because you win a contest do you think the social elite is going to accept you? Jesus people are dense. At the end of the show, you could see all the best of American ideals on display, backstabbing, manipulation, and slander. Such kind strategies where undertaken to stay in the good whims of Paris Hiltons mother? Angered at my viewing choice I took solace that it wasn’t my fault really, what was I supposed to do watch Hannity and colems? Alas experience is always a harsh teacher.

Weekly Sports and Hip Hop articles are coming ……

Peace

Random Signs of Intelligence

If you are reading this first sentence, let me say thank you for donating your time to my words With karma raising formalities took care of, time give some thoughts the freedom terror suspects dream of. You know as a youth I never understood why magazines such as sports illustrated would offer people football shaped phones, hats that would get you jumped on the block and t-shirts that faded quicker than your crack addicted barber in ’88. Wisdom most often comes from experience, and, my short myspace escapades have provided me with the understanding of the subscription game. It’s kinda parallel to the person you are infatuated with, that lets you smash out, it’s good you got to cut, but even better to have her taking and utilizing ya number instead of , walking away with you wondering what her last name was. I only say this because I see a good (view/ to friends) rate, but a anemic, sickly friends to subscription ratio. Wouldn’t it be nice if we wanted to hear what are friends had to say? LoL. Maybe god cursed me with facial features that don’t yell out “ save this nigga” on ya list, or maybe I should just start giving away some of my stolen music that has caused grey cd’s to take over my living quarters, or maybe as Sean Carter once said “Fuck it tho. Like Fuck it tho”. If I had something to give, I would get all philanthropic, but poverty is creates stingy motherfuckers, so until I attain the income bracket that allows me to take pictures or 20 something dime females in the minimalist of clothing, for uploading in the “Damien Exploitation Issue”, I can only offer sarcasm, insight and humor. I can sense subscriptions being deleted……….

Being a avid fan of writers who compose columns consisting of random issues, I think think at the moment I’ll give my own tribute to such displays. (Being on my 4^th mgd at this time has nothing to do with my decision or those lack of concentration rumors)

Since when Did Tom Cruise become one Crazy son of a Bitch? Just because the man looks like he drinks 40’s of Fountain of Youth malt liquor (or steals the souls of the young) and quickly averted any chance of a midlife crisis by getting engaged to Katie Holmes who is 16 years his junior, why is the media fucken with this guy? Jealousy is a very ugly thing………

How come when you tell the truth your evil individual? This query peruses my mind on two issues both political. Howard Dean, who is part of the rare and endangered species of "True Democrats" recently stated that the Republican Party mainly was is “pretty much a white Christian party” before saying later “and they have the agenda of the conservative Christians”. Now I refuse to introduce yall into narcolepsy by bringing in empirical data, but I’m willing to put up my existence( even tho it’s only worth a pittance due to many factors) that unless you’re a “white” Cuban, the vast majority of the time your not voting for the team with an elephant mascot that sheds blood in the name of God like modern day Aztecs, if you have some sort of a natural tan. Dean’s adjacent statement stands true. Its plainly obvious that a strong contingent of republicans have been trying to break down the barriers of church and state like the the Kool Aid man holding a picture of mountain berry. Well versed in the art of distraction, while the rest of the world hates us, a good portion of our states are going broke , we are involved in a war that hasn’t accomplished shit (fuck the MJ trail, I wanna see Saddam take the stand and start snitching like Nino Brown) somehow they got a president reelected. How? Good ole Christian values such as making sure that “faggots” never get married, kidnapping, locking up and murdering those non Christian- nothing but hate in they heart followers of Islam, and kept the average simpletons mind off gas prices that make the mantra of “Ass Cash or Gas, nobody rides for free” seem highly relevant. But instead of people analyizing the facts, Dean was roundly critized as being “divisive” and “counter productive” by the media, the Gop and his own hoe ass party……..

The same view comes on the Guantanamo Bay controversy. If a major magazine reports that, terror detainees saw there version of the bible being desecrated or had women smear what they believed to be period blood on their face, why are they “not acting in Americas best interest” because some people who are alerted of such atrocities started to wig out? Wouldn’t it make sense, if you didn’t want people to adversely react to your heinous actions, to just stop practicing them? Nahh better off to just say they you’re giving away over 500 tropical vacations.

I’ve always been a fan of the NBA, and respectful of the logic behind David Sterns positions. The newly agreed upon minimal age limit tho bothers me, not because of what it is trying to accomplish, but the mainstream views of it. Jermaine eloquently articulated the truth that, in all the other major sports, sans football which is understandable do to its grotesquely violent nature, nobody complains about professional teen athletes. Baseball has been drafting kids out of high school since the dawn of time, Tennis routinely features stars that could get you arrested if there pictures are caught on your hard drive, golf is following tennis’s lead, and hockey always is paying some young prodigy to accomplish their goals for them. But for some reason when high school graduates with unfathomable ability in the skill of basketball get drafted into large contracts there is a problem. Yes, I understand that baseball and hockey have minor leagues systems, so theoretically the pressure on said teenager is not as intense or immediate. The young draftees off those two sports still have to endure the pressure of competing, and socially adapting with grown men while balancing out youth , newly attained fortune and the new found pressure that come with it. What really raises my ire is the, “they should go to college for a few years” statement. Why do you go to college? I thought it was ultimilly to attains skills that make you more marketable in the workfoce. So if a prospective employer already deems you worthy, and you will make enough money go to any college of your choice later in life if u decide so for Van Wielder years, I’d say fuck ramen noodles and hello NBA to. Bottom line, there is a problem with young niggaz getten money in our society. Personally I feel the it would not hurt the NBA to have a age limit (just as it would help the ncaa to let hs seniors who enter the draft and aren’t chosen to right to play college basketball). But that people give b.s reasons for such rules, angers individuals and insults their intelligence. Funny how it’s okay for a 18yr old to blow another persons head off in the name of country tho, to less than 20G’s a year.

Hate is wrong……But I really hate Nancy Grace and Ann Coulter….. a lot.

Maybe I’m old and out the loop, white people don’t get stomped on site for saying nigga anymore? ……. Hey we have nobody to blame but us

If you ever thought that American Dad was funny as hell, but the antics portrayed on there are false….peep this

It's the CIA bitch

Why do white people think I’m their ally in the hating of Arab people?

Why is a sin for a Arab chick to go out with me?

My fingers hurt